Whether you like it or not, eventually you're gonna have to make some contribution to society. I guess you could become reclusive and become a hermit. Grow your own food, listen to the birds, watch the stars :/ But where's the meaning in that. Sure, its human to wonder, to wander, but at some point, to be able to ponder should lead you to think and at least empathise with the problems that somebody else has to handle. Am I being too fluffy about things? I don't want to be. Point is, it's one thing to think about things, and its another to be apathetic. Escapist even.

Escapist is a word that if used correctly could bring me to tears. I've been called that more than once, in different sentences with different words, but I get the gist of it quickly. I can recognise its familiar face in a cloud of words, because I see it in myself sometimes. My problem is I find myself innately unwilling to help. It takes effort to want to do something for someone (I read somewhere it's got to do with loving people). I guess some may say that it's natural to feel the inertia. Like panting when you run. And I get it. There's some kind of self-gratification mechanic at play here, do something for someone and you feel good yourself. But to me, I second-guess whether my contribution made anything better, or made any difference at all. I always thought I lost my empathy... Maybe I'm just fearful. Or not empathetic enough. Maybe it doesn't have to be a guessing game. For the people who lack mind-reading faculties, it probably would be a good idea to spell out the thoughts in words. I wish people just spoke their mind.

1. fear less
2. ask more
3. fewer surprises.