I discovered something new I think.

It's something good.

Maybe I'll be judged when I say I've rediscovered a new expression of love. Let me first describe what I feel. Maybe you can take a guess who I feel this for. And chances are there it'll be applicable to a lot of people, and I'm regretful that I have not noticed earlier.

It's not an overwhelming feeling of want, or need anymore. I don't feel a sickening craving to see, or meet or talk to or interact with them. But every time we meet I can't help but wonder why I would ever part with them. Because I feel I own the goddamn world with them. I feel safe enough to reveal my truest self, and cure my darkest parts. It doesn't matter if only two of us meet in the cozy embrace of the night, or if we decide to congregate as a pack and roam the quiet streets. Words flow, and stories lace themselves into our regular encounters. It makes me feel like we are old friends, older than ourselves, beyond ourselves.

I'm embarrassed of them sometimes, how I behave with them makes me feel self-conscious. In our truest image, the deepest wounds surface and I can't help but gag when I see them, mine and theirs. Maybe we all have knives in our backs, but we can't see our own backs. Or maybe we're punctured by the same stake, hurt by the same weapon. In recent weeks, I have struggled with this, but I realised it is no struggle if our love is true, and we are willing talk to set matters straight.

I can't leave these people to suffer because I have them in my heart. And they can't leave me.

I strongly believe that my relationship with them is less like a garden, but more like a forest ecosystem. Self-sustaining, persistent, growing. We may leave the forest to explore sometimes, but when we get back it will only be greener.

Some may look into our world and criticize, and impose an image of blight upon my paradise, but the truth is known among us, and if our intentions are pure, pardon my naivety, my childish inflection, but mind your own business. I will not let the view of others twist our point of view.

At this point I find it absurd as to why I even considered the observer's opinion.

My dear friends. I don't know why you worry. I don't know why I worry.